Regrets, running and random obsessions!

I seem to start every blog apologising for leaving it so long between posts. So this time I’ll skip that bit and just crack on!

To be honest I’ve had a case of “blogger’s block” – I haven’t been able to think about what to write nor had the inclination to put down my thoughts. It’s now just over 5 months since my Mam died and the grief is still taking me on a strange and random path. The last few weeks have been tough, which I guess is to be expected as it’s still “early days” apparently. I’m filled with regret for not appreciating her more, not telling her how much she meant to me and generally not spending more time with her. I’ve spent more time than usual on my own, and wanted to, which isn’t like me. All quite normal I can imagine.

Lately there’s been so much stuff happening in mine (and my sister’s) lives that I know she’d be proud of were she here to see it. Firstly I’ve lost 17 pounds in weight at good old Weight Watchers, and plan on losing even more. I remember before I met my hubby, my mam helped my with my first attempt at WW and I lost about 2 stone. I’d come home from work to a variety of salads and other calorie controlled meals – she was so supportive even though one night I actually cried over my WW beans on toast claiming the diet to be “boring” and “not worth it”! What a drama queen!

On a related note I’ve taken up “running” (AKA jogging!), primarily for the Sunderland BQ Relay Marathon of the North which I completed with my work colleagues a few weeks ago. I’d never done anything like it before and the whole day was such a refreshing and inspiring change that I intend to keep it up. As I ran along the seafront I thought of my Mam and how proud she’d be to see me run and give up my time for such a great cause.

Recently both my sister and I have enjoyed some success professionally, and in my sister’s case it’s both long overdue and well deserved. I can imagine that Mam will be watching down bursting with pride that her hard work has finally been recognised. Again, it’s hard to think that it’s happened too late for her to appreciate it in person.

On a non-morbid/miserable note, there’s LOADS to look forward to in life, including what should be a fabulous wedding this weekend (including a child free mini-break!). Plus there’s a trip to Edinburgh in July with great friends and a week in the Lakes in August with my Dad and the family (as well as Dexter the Dog!). We’re in the middle of decorating and improving the house too, so after two years of living here the final touches will finally be complete and it’ll be just as we want it (well – to a point! A lottery win would obviously help…)

Jake has been accepted to the school of our choice so he’ll be moving up to reception in September. We’ll all have to adjust to seeing him less during the week as he starts school full time. He’s growing up TOO fast. But it’s all good stuff. His latest obsessions range from Tom and Jerry to yoghurt-covered raisins, from picking the fluff out of his feet to harping on about a dog! All pretty random! That’s 4 year olds for you!!


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